Back Home Soon

I can't control these tears anymore, I just want to go home
Even if it's only back home to my husband and our 2 cats
At least with him I feel loved, wanted, needed, special.. known
I am becoming desperate to put this current life to rest, and in the past
I have a husband who needs me, or maybe I just need him
I'm so lost right now, so mentally unwell, living in constant hell
I don't belong here, I belong there, I need to be there!
But it feels like the universe is making it nearly impossible!
I don't know how much more of this I can take
I don't know how much more of this I can bear
I just want my husband, I want to be in his arms
Because he's the only person I have, that truly cares
He lets people know what he's got with me 
He's not ashamed to be seen with me, or to be in love with me
Because he's a real man and he's turned me into an honest, real woman
He loves me for me, never once tried to change me
Changing was something I had to do on my own
And that's why I'm not with him where he's at now
I need to be back home with him, desperately!!, but how?!
I have experienced love before, but, nothing like this
I swear, I get high just from the brief touch of his lips
When he first kissed me, that's all it took, I was in complete bliss
When we are apart, we got that toxic love
But when we're together, we got that power love that no one can take
That power love that people all over the world dream for
I never realized how much I loved this man;
Until I had to spend time away, until I had to live without him, in a way
But I've grown, I know now only what I wish I knew then
No one believed in us, but I did, he did, I still do, he still does
I thought I never needed anyone, just wanted them around
Ugh, I was so wrong, being away from my everything 
It's like being buried alive, alone, scared, 6 feet in the ground
I need to catch a break soon, this man loves me in the sunlight
He loves me in front of people, away from people, from the stars to the moon
I just want to go back home and be with my husband
I need my heart to feel complete again, I need this pain and torture to end
And he's the only cure I have, he's the only cure I want
I can't take it anymore, it's been too long, almost 3 whole years to be exact!
I wish this was just some fake little story, but unfortunately, its all facts
I love this man and if I'm not reunited with him soon
I feel afraid for my life, for my safety, like I'll be destined to a life of doom
I'm trying so hard to hang on, to be strong, to be the woman he once relied on
He's never stopped being the man I crawled back to, 
Man, I messed up before, but this time,
I've matured and I want to see our love bloom
But how do I get the universe to align with my wishes?
How do I get the universe to align with my demands?
How do I get back to my husband? 
I have no idea, but, I have come to the conclusion,
That I hope it happens soon, actually, I need it to happen..
…..Soon.

Stephanie A. Ludwig
04/16/2025