Poem -

Beneficence courtesy nonagenarian widower papa

Beneficence courtesy nonagenarian widower papa

Vitriolic scathing psychological malevolent jujitsu
cruelly, fiendishly, incriminating
lambasting opprobrium rue
teenly dished out to yours truly

mechanically engineered hatred to stew
when passive aggression fostered corked,
where self destruction grew
tens of decades ago, when this then
much younger match chew

Scott doubted, hesitated, lollygagged...,
where in solitary confinement he brew
toxic shocking rancor towards father
and mother peaceful conflict resolution
they did eschew

much preferring hurling epithet laced
expletives out their respective mouths flew
acrimonious, furious, noxious...
which poison verbal barbs knew
no letup, nor elicited any reaction their

once upon a time adorable boy,
where they did view
my welworn, passive,
and inert mooching
their unacceptable hashtagged

ill begotten progeny you
know who, if not (spoiler alert) i.e.
this generally conscientious contemplative
enlightened self anointed guru,
albeit modest rarely

doth he (me) ballyhoo
brutally damning, flagrantly hellacious,
judiciously loathsome in screw
tibble malicious venomous tirades shew
wing no merci, when I long

overstayed welcome, yet feared moo
ving way past the age when most
grown children can't wait to pursue
autonomy, emancipation, independence, et cetera.

faith no more actually never prevailed,
only inculcated self hate
buzzfeeding iniquitous, inferiority,
incompetence, et cetera innate

worthlessness, despite positive feedback
when cute boy, but emasculation did penetrate
availing self as token "scapegoat" suffering
suckerpunches mainly name calling to deflate
an already feeble self confidence early

in mein kampf, I experienced
existential nihilism, and negate
purposefulness to live reinforced
as extremely introverted lad,
whose mien did connate

defenselessness subsequently rain
of incriminating abuse within
central processing unit did infiltrate
giving latitude for destruction to resonate
with suicide fueling anorexia

nervosa to exterminate
one germane measly, puny,
quirky... objective to obliterate
self, though parental intervention
did unfortunately vitiate,

whereby fast forward flickr
of pride did generate
altered states of perception
allowing, enabling, and

providing spirit to resuscitate
analogous preceding childhood's end,
when joie de vivre did dominate
and thy singular life innocence

and naivete didst insulate
glorious ebullient boyhood
I try to recaptcha filial love
as papa doth alleviate
crushing oppressive pennilessness.

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