BROKEN CHILDHOOD

I was four
Waiting by the door 
Hoping one day you’ll come back 
Happy ever after
No I don’t believe in that 
I used to blow out my candles 
On my birthday and wish the same thing
Every single year 
“ mummy come home “
A part of my heart felt alone
A little girl craved her mum 
The day you left my heart went numb
I had to see you when you were in prison 
My emotions were left completely hidden
I was broken and so very scared 
I wasn’t even prepared 
I mean how could I be
No one ever expected it
Certainly not me
I didn’t see you growing up 
And when you went to prison
It was so tough 
The constant nightmares 
Of a huge red gate 
I can’t unsee it now, it’s far to late
I wish I never waited by the door
I wish you never came back anymore
I wish you never broke my heart
More and more each day 
I wish these flashbacks 
Of my broken childhood 
Would just go away.