Cannot change

All my life i've stood back, never trying,

never pushing, always waiting, letting fate decide.

pathetic, weak!

I hate myself for this but cannot change.

Scared of what people think or say,
from my first school crush to job interview,

my mind says

Your to short
Too young
Too ugly
Too dim,
Just too ....

My guilt my shame no other one to blame.

People think me patient but im a coward.

Afraid of taking that first step, what if i fail.

Always a good excuse why i didn't why i don't, i even fool myself.

I hate myself for being like this but cannot change.