Compete with a Cheerleader

I hide. In the moment I met you I suddenly died. There is no in between how I feel and how I deal. I know there is no attraction, but this doesn't stop my infatuation. I watch you, your every move that little way you smile when you talk, the stupid things no one else notices. You only know what I show. There is behind my persona of a normal girl there, a demon hides in the shadows awaiting the day it can escape but these prescriptions keep it safe. I'm never going to be the cheerleader you are after, I am what I am and I do not apologize for that. The flirting only leaves to deserting. At first glance I was stuck in a trance. Why can't you see that you're killing me? I use the internet and stalk, things I can write but I can never talk. I just thought maybe you'd like me after time, I wanted for a moment to make you mine. Though you used me. This is a blurry line between hate and the debate of if I like you or not.