Feint faint "Fake" no nor'easter

If putsch comes to shove,
aye ain't no doggone fraidy cat
nor chicken little
fearing coup d'état,

yours truly simply
risk averse, and more exact,
he stays sequestered
within these four walls,

cuz tis safest inside this flat
always... mein kampf,
I remember when fertilization begat
after nine months in utero...

ah dat womb dar full habitat
i.e. uterus cradled humanity, whereat
teeming bajillions primates
peopling planet Earth
couples made lovey dovey after spat
(which species among
other flotsam and jetsam),

got shot out (think) analogous
muzzle loaded gat
excellent marksman aimed
then squirted packed heat hot

as summer temperature
gets within Gujarat
recorded courtesy, thee
oldest functioning thermostat,

albeit microcosmic primordial vat
testy sea men don
(May comb hairy
gah great again) conical hat.

I surmise proto humans
especially storied hall
(conjured in Peer Gynt
by Edvard Grieg
of mountain king)
trumpeted, tooted thwacked,
and announced presence

courtesy posterior primal mating call,
which vibrant cheekiness heard all
around the mulberry bush to Gaul
hmm... maybe e'en hot air
inspired Marc Chagall,
while sitting atop porcelain throne,
nonetheless scandalous
rectal blasts help explain fall

of Rome, whereby noxious
generated silent but deadly nauseating
noisome pall mall
felled friend and foe alike
analogous on minuscule
scale to Chernobyl
level 7 nuclear accident
also linkedin, when

Polar Vortex doth stall
across avast swath planet Earth
forcing quick thinkers to marshall,
what (mathers) matters
such as... antique pinball
machines worth a mint,
a bitch to install.