Forgiveness can't erase my scars

They say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

So we make mistakes with clarity in our hearts 
That when it's done 
When the mess is over we can just repent 
And ask for forgiveness 

So that we didn't have to ask cause the answer was always yes to us
We didn't have to beg cause they always agreed 
And when the mistake is made we don't have to cry about it
Cause soon we'd be forgiven 
And the mess would be forgotten 
And the trust we'd soon redeem so our souls can live on at ease 

No one was harmed 
There's no need for the alarm 
Or the drama that comes from asking 
We didn't seek permission
So it's an open invitation admission 
And if it ends badly 
That's okay we'll be forgiven 

But what if you're not

What if the mistake can't be undone with a simple apology 
And the scars can't be forgotten with the words we speak 
We make as remedies 
In hopes the soothing sounds of comfort will be received with open arms 
And all the harm is undone 
As we are forgiven 

But what if those open arms are broken 
Sliced and scarred with every lie you told 
Every rule you broke 
And they don't want to listen 

What if the harm doesn't erase 
And the memories stay 
And they haunt us forever 

What if 

What if they never go away. 

We can't say 
We'll ask for forgiveness 
When the hardest part isn't asking but forgiving 

How do you forgive the one who took all that you had and broke all you are made of

How do you forgive a broken trust laced with a damaged heart and secrets you never knew about

How do you forgive 

Someone who asks for forgiveness 
When they couldn't even ask for permission

It's not the result
It's your resolution

It's the intention

Cause we knew there'd be harm 
And we knew we'd cause scars 
And we knew we'd tell lies 
And we knew we'd lose trust
And we knew it'd be hard
And we knew we'd make a mess 

But we'd be forgiven. 
And the mess would be forgotten 
And the trust would be redeemed 

But it's not that easy 

Cause your heart is still whole 
And your skin is still warm 
And your nights are still calm 
And your pride is still high 

Cause your life is still sane

But mine is in pain 

Cause I can't forgive you
I can't forget
I can't erase my scars 
Or close my eyes in my dreams 
Cause the memories don't go away 

And those words just don't erase the pain
They don't erase the scars 
They don't erase the lies 
They don't erase the harm
Or my broken heart

And it doesn't go away

They say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Well i don't forgive you.

Now what?