Fuck you ptsd

Fumbling around in my head these thoughts start to consume me and i can’t stop them no matter how hard I try.
Understandably shaken by the feeling that my brains letting me down when in reality it isn’t, it’s just trying to cope 
Coping is hard harder than I ever thought it would be but I’m a fighter and won’t lose this battle 
Knock me down a millons time but I will also continue to rise because that night no longer defines me, instead i define myself based on my and no one else 

Yes you will probably always be a part of me but that doesn’t mean I have to live in your shadow, and I have no intention of doing so 
Obviously that night still haunts me but I’ve learnt that it happened for a reason some I know and some I’m still discovering and that’s ok 
Unperturbed by your presence I will still be the women I want and I’ll never be held back by you, as you are not a lock to my future but simply a piece of thin rope that I can break off 

Partly guilty sometimes that your still here but then I think back to the the control you no longer have and smile because I know I’m finally getting there in my recovery from you 
Tremendous things are witnessed in my mind when you attack but, you don’t make me unsafe anymore as I know it’s just a feeling and that his hand isn’t there at all 
Sometime I wish you where not there but then I realise that you a are simply a maker to show myself how far I’ve actually come as you don’t have anywhere near the amount of how are you did have because I’ve take control
Destroying you is hard but with time tears and a lot of perseverance you are completely breakable 

So fuck you ptsd you may still be a part of me but I’m winning this war against you so watch out