Poem -

Gelded Race Horse

Gelded Race Horse

A man ripped me off, he sold he a retired race horse that had been gelded.
He neglected to tell me that and my wife was so furious that I got belted.
The horse that I bought won every time, he never lost a race.
The seller ripped me off so I used a brick to smash his face.
That SOB was able to jip me out of twenty grand because I'm not very bright.
But that brick made him so ugly that he can't get a date on a Saturday night.
I planned to make a lot of money by using my horse for breeding.
I borrowed the twenty grand from a loan shark and a hospital is what I'll be needing.
I'm broke, I have no money to pay the loan shark back.
The loan shark has arrived and he's ready to attack.
He's showing no mercy, he's ignoring me as I beg.
He has broken several of my ribs and both of my legs.
I have some advice and you should really take my word.
If somebody tries to sell you a race horse, give him the bird. 

Like 1 Pin it 0
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.

Comments

Poem -

Polly

Dedicated to Polly Holliday (1937-2025) who died on September 9...

Polly

She starred as a waitress who was always jolly.
She was very talented and her name was Polly....

Poem -

John Brown's 55th...

Dedicated to John W. Brown (1970-2019) who died on June 3, 2019

John Brown's 55th Birthday

Today would've been his birthday but he didn't survive.
If John hadn't died, today he would've...

Poem -

My Wife Became A Carjacker

My Wife Became A Carjacker

My damn wife makes me so mad that I want to smack her.
She turned to crime after she chose to become...

Latest poems in Comedy, Limerick

Poem -

Yours truly dwells within...

Yours truly dwells within an alien-nation,

where the grateful dead undergo cremation
corpse paid for courtesy the government,
but...

Poem -

Our refrigerator ought to...

Our refrigerator ought to be declared a Superfund site...

whereat the subsequent lines
lack any relation to the title
but like most every poetic...

Poem -

Mine mean Lothario days...

Mine mean Lothario days left me in a confused daze...

as if being a crash test dummy survivor
after a led zeppelin collided with yours truly,
a foo...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com