Happy but not Happier

                       Going months without you has cleared my head and I feel like I just walked out of rehab. But at the same time, it made me feel like I wanting to check back in. I got a taste of my own medicine, and it makes me never want to be clingy again. But when I saw you? clingy and I didn't want to leave. You don't know that I spent nearly two hours getting ready just in case you called me pretty. You didn't. I know I was over my head again on to thinking you'd ask me to be yours again. I know. How badly I held myself together for not going in for a hug. I wanted to be the "Can I have a hug?" guy. 
                        You don't know that every guy I talk too I find tasteless and regardless of if they have more abs then you? It doesn't faze me. You don't know how bored I get talking to them because they're not you. I go to places with tainted faces of you and they won't erase. I cut people off because they bore me, they don't get me like you. They're not funny. 
Sometimes I wonder if you burry yourself in work to forget me? Or if you talk to different people to forget me too? Is it working? I'm glad you're doing well.
                        You don't know that I still think of you as my moon but I'm always reminding myself that you have plenty of stars. Today I don't see you as the one who broke me, but the one who changed me. I can't force you to love me or want me no matter how many hours I spend trying to be "pretty". But even if it hurts...I'll stick around and put on a happy face. Any chance to be near you because at least I'll get my high. Maybe if i'm lucky you'll whisper," Come back to me". Going months without you has cleared my head and I feel like I just walked out of rehab. But at the same time, it made me feel like I wanting to check back in.
I hope this poem gives you warmth 
Like most times on March 24th...because 
I'm happy but not happier........
Just a bit better but not bitter.

Love, Hely.