Harumph To Holiday Hoopla – Phish Pshaw!

Relieved of fatherhood Saint
Nick schtick found me
to relinquish ratty outfit, and stow away zee bras
like padding and "FAKE flowing beard,
ah...don't remind me,
those well worn faux paws

of each dear deer (hooping Rudolf would
set precedent as every other reindeer hoof
dost not get cleft out in the cold) withdraws
not to budge like...a Mexican stonewall
contractual obligations grudgingly negotiated,
(especially citing animal abuse as insanity clause),

while angrily clattering rooftop
to rooftop, without pause,
what, and me forcing those strenuous hee haws
(hint to potential dada's, that ledger domain
promising humongous gifts gets old fast,
generating nuttin boot lockjaws

(other Kris Kringles would agree),
where haggard overworked (underpaid)
frequently threatening unionized joining
posse to become outlaws
migrant elves lose stamina to applause,
the jolly ho ho ho role of Santa Claus,

and to a lesser extent return (like new -
with store tag) Easter Bunny suit, defacto
birthday party planner, et cetera,
oh...almost forgot tooth fairy -
ouch! that took a bloody bite out of finances,
hence needed heavy duty gauze,

yet now this papa merely draws
lipservice joy to the world Bobe myseh,
aye yie yie despite punishing, nee
turning into filet mignon, those who poo poo
those culturally grafted pagan grand Poobahs
face lash, and quickly get

smote with invisible taws
particularly any
antiestablishmentarianism
leftist southpaws,
no matter poetically wry ming spewed cents

ability uttered from courtesy
minority reporting maws,
(case in point dexterously yours truly)
laments glaring flaws,
not only of those unaccountable booking costs
driving Earthly unaffordable

materialistic capitalistic jaws,
no matter (albeit
more quiet and somber),
I breathe sigh of
relief to escape naws
zee hating crass mass foofaraws,

and beat hasty retreat from pandemonium
(part and UPS parcel)
fueling manufacturing factories
producing widgets, trinkets, gewgaws,
et cetera subsequently giving employment
(reed nepotism) opportunities

to aunts, uncles in-laws
of management (a perk
found most objectionably
with he who doth trumpet
deed duck shins
to needy) re: yule stated

Taj Mahal family cause,
but to enrich the coffers
of salivating power hungry
(jibber jabber) money grubbers
brandishing chainsaws
to cut down farmed Christmas trees,

where dollar signs
spin each eyeball rubbed raws,
this minor manifesto
concludes as welcome retreat,
where stale Yuletide saws
reverberate warbled carolers
punctuating psalm songs with ews ah ahs!