I Can't Get Drunk

(This fictional poem takes place in the year 1984.)

I can't believe what the USA Government has done.
They've raised the drinking age up to twenty-one.
I just turned eighteen last week.
Now I can't get drunk and it's bleak.

Before I can buy any booze, I'll have to wait three years.
I really want some vodka, Jack Daniels and a keg of beer.
Why did the government have to do what they did?
It's been my dream to be the town drunk since I was a kid.

I bought a fake ID but the liquor store owner knows it's phony.
I told him that it's genuine but he says that's a lot of baloney.
He just grabbed me and threw me out the door.
It looks like I won't get any booze at his store.

I asked my uncle to buy me some beer.
He got so angry that he boxed my ears.
Now I can't get plastered and that isn't fun.
I can't get any booze until I turn twenty-one.