Poem -

I Eat Dog Food

I Eat Dog Food

I once drove a brand new car and lived in a nice apartment.
But now I'm dirt poor and I live down by the lake in a tent.
I get angry because of people's attitudes.
People laugh at me because I eat dog food.
I eat it every day because it's cheap.
People laugh because they're creeps.
I started eating dog food because I saw David Letterman do it.
It looked mighty tasty when I saw him chew it.
I eat it at the beach, while riding on buses and subways and at the park.
I'm getting worried because all of that dog food has started making me bark.
I've also started licking my butt and fetching sticks.
When women see me eat dog food, it makes them sick.
If you're wondering if I'll quit, the answer is no.
I'll never stop eating dog food, I need my Alpo.
Please don't point and laugh at me, please don't be rude.
Everybody thinks that I'm a freak because I eat dog food.

(A fictional poem.)

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Comments

author
zZzleepy

89c for Dog food???? That is ridiculously cheap! Wow. Our shops need to do that too

Reply
author
Terry Kay

Randy, I saw Paul Newman eat his organic dog food on Jay leno years ago. Liked your poem.

Reply
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