Poem -

I Eat Dog Food

I Eat Dog Food

I once drove a brand new car and lived in a nice apartment.
But now I'm dirt poor and I live down by the lake in a tent.
I get angry because of people's attitudes.
People laugh at me because I eat dog food.
I eat it every day because it's cheap.
People laugh because they're creeps.
I started eating dog food because I saw David Letterman do it.
It looked mighty tasty when I saw him chew it.
I eat it at the beach, while riding on buses and subways and at the park.
I'm getting worried because all of that dog food has started making me bark.
I've also started licking my butt and fetching sticks.
When women see me eat dog food, it makes them sick.
If you're wondering if I'll quit, the answer is no.
I'll never stop eating dog food, I need my Alpo.
Please don't point and laugh at me, please don't be rude.
Everybody thinks that I'm a freak because I eat dog food.

(A fictional poem.)

Like 3 Pin it 1
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.

Comments

author
zZzleepy

89c for Dog food???? That is ridiculously cheap! Wow. Our shops need to do that too

Reply
author
Terry Kay

Randy, I saw Paul Newman eat his organic dog food on Jay leno years ago. Liked your poem.

Reply
Poem -

Goodbye Ace Frehley

Dedicated to Ace Frehley (1951-2025) who died on October 16,...

Goodbye Ace Frehley

Everybody loved his performances but he can't perform anymore.
Ace Frehley has died after having a...

Poem -

The Late Patricia Routledge

Dedicated to Patricia Routledge (1929-2025) who died on October...

The Late Patricia Routledge

When she starred in 'Keeping Up Appearances', she did a great job.
She starred as Hyacinth Bucket...

Poem -

60th Anniversary

Dedicated to Charles and Agnes Johnson

60th Anniversary

Today would've been Mom and Dad's anniversary if they were still alive.
They got married sixty years...

Latest poems in Comedy, Limerick

Poem -

Tectonic Upheaval

Tectonic Upheaval

Heavy duty seismic coughing wracks my whole body electric leveling all bonafide structures versus a...

Poem -

PREPARE FOR HUGS GALORE

PREPARE FOR HUGS GALORE

Talk to God...

Try without...

Someone will let you in...

The Hugs can begin......

Poem -

DISCO NIGHTS

DISCO NIGHTS

Does anyone know if Disco will come back?

That's how the older crowd did it...

The twenty...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com