I Miss You

After a bad day...
I hesitate then answer the phone
Hear my Dads voice 
Afraid and alone
Kiss my partner and daughter goodnight
Take a breath and head into the night
Hands shake on the steering wheel
Unsure what to think or to feel
Footsteps down corridors squek 
Ward two my eyes try to seek
A crooked man hunched over a bed
His hand strokes her shaking head
My brain plays down the scene it does find
A life I have now left behind
As hours pass we try to pretend
It won't be long til she's on the mend
Through vomit and blood and sickening groans
Over beeping machinery and relentless phones
Shunned away into a a quiet room
Of deafening silence and impending doom
Comfort at last in brothers arms
Protect me from pain and all that harms
The door handle moves and I knew straight away
I would not see my Mother today
But only a plastic face of pain
And crows and cigarettes and rain
And life will never be the same
I look to God above for blame
And drive back home in the cold light of day
And hug my daughter with dismay
And three years on it starts again
A reloop tape within my brain