Poem -

Jinxed with accursed automobile woes

Jinxed with accursed automobile woes

Small fortune already spent
to maintain 2009 Hyundai Sonata
(pray cuz I love genii, or even mirthful
teletubby heaven sent)
compromising financial means to pay rent,

telecommunications service provider (Verizon),
electric company (PECO), sparking pent
up rage against the machine money meant
to buffer panic attacks
springing up like Jack in the box

yet, yours truly feels his soul got lent
to the devil, impossible mission
peace of mind out of reach for this gent
and the misses forced in poor house
alms reached out
imploring cosmic consciousness

me equal decent
fellow asking please
dole out at least one red cent
with quite a few right sided zeros
before decimal point
to relieve soul searing ailment.

Nor can yours truly afford
a new preowned vehicle
perhaps dismal circumstances
will witness me pedaling
preschool sized tricycle
generating stares aplenty quizzical
bystanders, especially kids

pointing out overgrown practical
joker, many grownups
look twice dismissing optical
illusion concluding meshugganah
mister man maniacal,
nonetheless entire crowd
coon sitters me hysterical.

Thus hoop fully explains zit
all regarding why I writ
silly poem about me,
a pedal pushing panhandler twit
(jab only fore sake of poem),
who wheely did quit
the madcap rat race
cold turkey working for nonprofit

named Matthew Scott Harris,
he sports fifty shades of gray matter
boasting memory equalling one kilobit
more than adequate as Herman's hermit
petsmart exuding blissful esprit
de corp sometimes volunteering
with Smokey as his fiery bandit.

If ja happen to espy
older pencil necked geek
most popular within
of enclave Battle Creek,
cuz, constitutes major producer

comprising breakfast cereal of champions
just toss legal tender into sleek,
the only pot I got to piss'n
actually a family heirloom antique
sold to me on grandfather's deathbed.
 

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Comments

author
Katina Woodruff...

I like how you referred to your car and income situation like a, Jack in the box, brilliant!

Favorite line

springing up like Jack in the box

We've all been there at some point, cars are hard to keep maintained. I hope you get your car fixed soon. 

Other favorite part

will witness me pedaling

preschool sized tricycle

Reply
author
matthew harris

aw shucks ma'am // good thing ya didn't tell tell me to scram // and virtually chase after me with, (albeit figuratively strike yours truly) with intent to wham.

as token toward your integrity, hospitality, generosity... yup a poem writ yesteryear I share.

upon discovering a wishbone... and granted emotional succor - think bonafide buddy - you.

(to late for Hanukkah)

i attach very 
little value doubt 
to farfetched linkedin 
phenomena brought about 
when breaking off 

the larger section 
of a wishbone, 
sans effortless knockout, 
my dominant hand 
did hold out,

while yours truly pretended 
to freak out
with a playful 
twist and shout, 
no matter aye attribute 

"FAKE" good luck, 
thus resumed crafting 
this poem scout 
ting for expressing 
rhyme to work out

for no reason 
only to rollout
a silly ditty re:
guarding Bobe myseh - 
i did not tout

(Old wives tale, 
an untrue belief), -
on par with trout,
that could scale Mount Fisher 
anticipating literary washout

nonetheless silently did ruminate, 
(preposterous yen for 
lower teeth to sprout),
after filling more 
lines against whiteout

quickly some minutes 
passed, or thereabout 
aye, forgot about 
the matter altogether
thus imagine my utter stirabout,

when my tongue felt 
faint ridge to stickout
no, though gifted 
     with vivid imagination...,
an immediate welled up, 

(then quickly squelched) to runabout 
mine person tends tubby 
     low key, but...now phaseout,
could take place 

     for lower dentures
with greater choice of foods,
(this pork guy) could pigout
humph...naturally methought 
third set of teeth, 

     not exceptionally outrageous, 
     nor exceptionally noticeable 
unless...lower lip made 
into a miniature rainspout.

 

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