speechless

you tell me you love me,
you tell me you respect me,
you tell me all these things but yet still neglect me,

i don’t know if you just say it to say it,
i don’t know what you’ll think will become of it,
i don’t know if your feels are true,
i don’t know who i am without you,

that sounds stupid i know,
but have you ever had a connection with
someone and yet they still go?

they just leave,
leave you at your feet,
leave you when your screaming please,

sometimes i think you did this for you,
i think you knew i would never leave you,
i think you did this bc you didn’t know what else to do,

maybe you want help,
maybe you want love,
maybe all of this is just stuff you’re scared of,

sometimes it hurts to think that,
it hurts to know i wasn’t good enough,

it honestly hurts bc here i am still thinking about you constantly,

i think about where we would be,
i think of how happy you and i could be,
i think about the buts and the ifs,
i think about all life has to give,

but that’s all changed,
losing you was the death of me,
losing you took out the breath in me,

i see you getting along,
i seeing you moving on,
i see you without me,
i see me pleaing with you not to leave,

you were my person,
but now it’s crazy to know you made my depression worsen,

you’re a good person no matter what you believe,
and even though all of this i can still see the good left in me,
the good you caused, 
the good that’s all your fault,

you helped me in ways i can’t explain,
there was this one day where i could’ve swore i was about to blow out my brains,

but then you texted me,
out of nowhere and you were there for me...unknowingly,

so thank you for loving me,
thank you for trusting me,
most importantly thank you for consulting in me,