Summer of 2016
* this is a topic that touches on sexual abuse donโt read if it makes you uncomfortable*
I remember the words coming
From you. The promises that
Iโm a good girl and I shouldย
Just keep quiet. Your hands exploring my vulnerable self who thoughtย Itโs fine because weโre sisters.
The touch of your tongue that
Still makes me cry. The memories of fear which consumed me
And made my mind a prison.
The endless showers andย
Muffled cries. The day you introduced me to a man who just wanted to be my friend.
The friend in a devilsย
Disguise.ย ย You letting hisย
Cold hands go up and downย
Telling me how beautiful I look.
Maybe it was the smileย
That I struggled to keep on my face.Maybe my โnoโ was too quiet.Four years and I still struggle toย Sleep at night.ย
Becoming so allergic to
Touch that even my mothersย
Hugs make me cry. Even a strangers look seems so judgmental.ย Like they knew my secret. Like they knew
What I let you do. Too weak to say no too scared to look away.
Your words still present in my mind your cold look I see everyday.The tears that became so dried out I canโt even cry. The summer of 2016 the hell that became aย part of my reality.
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Comments
damn...I knew this was gonna be so dark and yet so beautifully written. I was molested by my father...it is so hard when someone you trusted takes advantage of the trust you have in your heart. I could feel the hurt and despair very vividly.
This is actually the first time I talked about it. Not a single soul knows. Well now I guess the whole internet does itโs such a traumatic experience that caused me so much harm and Iโm so sorry to hear you had to go trough this as well. My love goes out to you
I am seeking help now...I suffer from PTSD. But I know life will go on. I am stronger and I refuse to let his abuse hurt me anymore. thank you for caring enough to write about it. I write about the abuse and it helps a little. find that dark niche in your soul and gift Cosmofunnel with your voice. I am here for you if you ever need to talk
PTSD is something really hard to deal with. Especially in the beginning of healing. Iโm happy youโre seeking help and I believe youโre gonna get trough it. Youโre so so strong <3
Fighting!
So much power and emotion I am so sorry you had to experience this.ย Poetess is right, this site will hopefully help you in some ways.ย I too am here if you ever need to talk.ย On the poems nature, I could feel your pain and the silver lining in this is that it's very well written and I hope you write more.
Thank you! :)
I wrote this a while ago and publishing it made me feel so much better and seeing thereโs people that care makes me feel happy itโs something Iโm to this day very much ashamed about.
I Too believe that you have landed in the right place by finding your way here...there are several incredible stories from writers here that share in your experience....and speak (relatively) openly about it.....you have but to ask.....there are many of us here that are happy to speak with you any time.......it's truly a second family here on Cosmo.....everyone is kind and VERY open minded...thank you for sharing this truly powerful and moving piece of poetic honesty with us all L.C.!!โฆ..writing helps....doesn't fix anything immediately but it's a start!!โฆโฆ.I am your newest cyber-friend!!โฆ..Tonyย xoย : )
Thank you. I never expected all of these kind words. Iโm not even sure I deserve the affection from all of you. And I do agree for me writing has been helping me get all of my feelings out since I was in 7th grade. And this site does seem like a really open and judgment free place so Iโm more than excited to post more!