SUPER FAT

My wife was slim when we got married, but now she weighs 600 pounds.
She got fat because she doesn't know how to put her knife and fork down.
She eats all of our food, and she eats the baking soda as well.
If obesity was a crime, she'd spend two hundred years in jail.
When she buys groceries, people go hungry because she buys all of the food.
I have to hide because the empty refrigerator has put her in a very bad mood.
She thought my hockey pucks were sausage patties, and they were devoured.
I would confront her about her weight problem, but I'm too big of a coward.
When we go to Food City, she cleans out the deli.
She's so fat that an airplane could land on her belly.
She said when I won her heart, it was like winning first prize.
I could agree with her, but my mother taught me not to tell lies.
I have to work three jobs to feed her, that's something I don't enjoy doing.
When there is food in the house, it's impossible for her to stop chewing.
If I could've looked into the future, I wouldn't have said I Do.
Don't laugh or make fun, the same thing might happen to you.