Poem -

The Misunderstanding

The Misunderstanding

When I told my wife that her dad bought the farm, she thought he died.
But he actually bought a farm and because of the misunderstanding, I'm having to hide.
When my wife gets angry, she gets violent and it gives me the chills.
If she finds where I'm hiding, it will take a long time for me to heal.
She's very strict, domineering, mean and she's extremely demanding.
She will feed my balls to her Doberman because of this misunderstanding.
When she thought her dad was dead, it drove her to tears.
She once put a bullet in my ass, I know the meaning of fear.
Oh no, my wife has found me and she is carrying a chainsaw.
All because of the misunderstanding about my father-in-law.
I'm crying as I'm begging her to put the chainsaw down.
She just cut off my pinky finger and it fell to the ground.
I'm running to my car and I'm going to drive across the Mexican border.
When it comes to my wife, I need to pray and I need a restraining order.
If she gets her hands on me, somebody will have to call my next of kin.
If I can make it to Mexico, I hope I will never see that crazy bitch again.

Like 1 Pin it 1
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.
Poem -

John Brown's 55th...

Dedicated to John W. Brown (1970-2019) who died on June 3, 2019

John Brown's 55th Birthday

Today would've been his birthday but he didn't survive.
If John hadn't died, today he would've...

Poem -

My Wife Became A Carjacker

My Wife Became A Carjacker

My damn wife makes me so mad that I want to smack her.
She turned to crime after she chose to become...

Poem -

Goodbye Terence Stamp

Dedicated to Terence Stamp (1938-2025) who died on August 17,...

Goodbye Terence Stamp

He was very talented and he has died at the age of 87.
After living for many years, he died and went...

Latest poems in Comedy

Poem -

Mine mean Lothario days...

Mine mean Lothario days left me in a confused daze...

as if being a crash test dummy survivor
after a led zeppelin collided with yours truly,
a foo...

Poem -

HELLO TEAM

HELLO TEAM

Close your eyes...

Breathe...

Now open...

Surprise!

If you're saying......

Poem -

Brisk temperatures at dawn...

Brisk temperatures at dawn and dusk herald incipient early Autumn...

here within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania,
encompassing quite a geographic...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com