Thoughts

swirling whooshing around, clinking clanking till I hit the ground;
Constant thumping of past times, wasted youth and life behind.
Now I'm stuck on a wheel round and round its very surreal,don't belong any were no more,unloved unwanted had time to think.
I've realised that all my life you laughed at me behind my back,said things I never knew, now looking back cause I've plenty of time.
You all chose to put me down I don't know why you were my family, mum and sisters thinking I couldn't hear. No wander I became a recluse you all put me through such abuse.
My dad was only one to care no longer here to stop you, so keep ringing mum even though I love you I will never forget what you three have put me through, so I must ignore you so I don't upset you cause I will just tell you the truth . don't want to live in past my future must hold some happiness, depression these long years I cannot shake as abuse still in my wake.
Black eyes belittled bullied so much seems my reality so out of touch .Thoughts swirl and swim around ideas of better things ... Dreams and fantasies only I see off a better life for me, told I'm mad I'm this and that constantly rewinding in my head I think I'm better of dead.