Funny

I went to the hospital and they said they were going to shove a camera up my ass.
I told them that I...

I committed murder and I have bad news.
Columbo is on the case and that means I'll lose.
...

I had it made until my stupid wife ruined me.
I was rich until she went on a spending spree.
...

Even though I've been helping you and working hard,
you won't give me a beer after I've mowed your...

TRICKY TIM WILLIAMS MAY 2015

WHEN I WAS A KID
I WORKED AT THE TRADING POST,
SOLD...

I told my wife that she looks like a wicked witch.
And then I had to go to the hospital to be...

Because I look like Colonel Sanders, people ask me for the secret recipe.
When I tell them that I...

If you want my ex girlfriend, she's up for grabs.
But if you sleep with her, you will get the Crabs...

I owned a funeral parlor and I earned a lot of bread.
I got paid a whole lot of money to cremate the...

Come one, come all and transform to thralls,
Talk to the trees and capture the breeze,
Make...

When a wig maker saw my wife's hair, he adored it.
He wanted it and said that he'd pay top dollar...

I hope that you'll believe me but you probably will not.
I have a dog and she has been smoking all...

I was abducted by aliens and I'm angry, bitter and depressed.
They took me to a world where the...

My peach tree only had one peach and my brother decided to pick it.
I grabbed it out of his hand and...

While I wasn't looking, somebody stole my soda.
I quickly learned that it was Jedi Master Yoda....

You're mad because I told your husband the truth.
You cheated on him and I showed him the proof....