Banned From Sears

I am a man who loves Sears and tools a lot.

But if you're wondering if I'm happy, I am not.

Something happened that drove me to tears.

I have been permanently banned from Sears.

I visited Sears one day and I tested a propane heater in the store.

There was a big explosion that propelled me to the above floor.

I haven't been banned from just that Sears, I've been banned from them all.

They won't let me return even though I wept like a girl and decided to crawl.

What happened makes me so upset that I cuss like a sailor.

They banned me even though I'm Tim the Toolman Taylor.