Deputy Enos Strate

I live in Hazzard County and I am Deputy Enos Strate.
I'm a virgin because Daisy Duke is the only girl I want to date.
People like me because I'm Hazzard's only honest cop.
I had my own show over 30 years ago but it was a flop.

I work for Sheriff Coltrane and J.D. Hogg and if you deal with them, you will get conned.
I eat the General Lee's dust and I constantly drive my patrol car into the Hazzard pond.
I wreck a lot of cars because the Duke Boys are who I have to chase.
People make fun of me because I always have a silly grin on my face.

I was humiliated when Bo and Luke hung me on the wall like a side of beef.
Rosco always calls me a dipstick and because of him, I've seen a lot of grief.
Daisy won't marry me even though I try again and again.
I guess that I'm doomed to die a sexually frustrated virgin.

(This poem was inspired by The Dukes of Hazzard TV show.)