Fate decreed sexting/texting while married abominable

Therefore karma caught up to me big time
and delivered yours truly sent to purgatory
(figurative speaking) by casting a spell,
whereby the government issued Safelink
Tracfone got permanently disabled
and all the data
(including contact information
such as risqué photographs
of seductively posing nymphs
linkedin to Facebook Messenger)
stored therein forever inaccessible.

I did not pass GO,
nor collect two hundred dollars
but went straight to spiritual jail
after being warned countless times
(particularly courtesy the wife),
that husband of hers would pay
for texting and sexting with females
young enough to be his daughter.

No matter infrequently did I divulge
and/or countenance communicating
to females thru Facebook Messenger,
those few honest confessions found
the wife brushing her index finger of
dominant hand against index finger
of recessive hand uttering tsk tsk tsk...

Upon speaking over an alternate cell phone
to a Safelink representative, I got told
that NO replacement
for model Samsung Galaxy J3 Orbit -
the type I got sent a couple years ago -
NOT feasible because
the warrant time frame elapsed.

Aforesaid accursed misfortune of mine
would without a shadow of a doubt
(unlike the shadow
of Punxsutawney Phil
on February second
id est Groundhog day)
find the wife gleeful,
but (praised be dog),
I never admitted culpability
secretly painstakingly keying
unfulfilled romantic whims
inadvertently sabotaged
throughout those precious years
of puberty to emerging adulthood.

Quite frankly, I felt relieved
above mentioned cell phone got zapped
because after sharing preliminary questions
(more so about me
versus other communicant
on receiving end
telling nothing about herself -
with the exception of asking for money) -
an intimation clearly broached
to strategize about a rendezvous
with each other, no matter
original primary intent of mine
merely to plumb the depths
of a platonic relationship.

Lucky destiny intervened
in a timely fashion because
about a dozen
(dirty deeds done dirt cheap)
years ago the writer of these words
met acrimonious, combustious, egregious,...
malicious, and opprobrious fallout
awakening our then two tween-age daughters
forever experiencing sundered dynamic
when he (their birth father)
nonchalantly drove home
from West Philadelphia
after visiting a woman of color
returning back to the then dwelling
at 724 West Railroad Avenue
in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania)
after the bewitching hour.

The sh*t hit the fan
and the spouse
analogous to a kamikaze pilot
zeroed in and drove brickbats
upon behavior of mine, appalling and base
and around the Mulberry bush did she chase
the monkey chased the weasel,
until she caught and verbally throttled
he who betrayed covenant vouchsafed
making a mockery of vows
with amazing disgrace
a major faux pas I can never erase
forever envisioning culprit
standing stockstill totally shamed
while she spewed
venomous bile back in my face.
The long story short,
she (the wife not ordinarily
a forgiving person)
did accept her
(once revered knight in shining armor),
yet never lost an opportunity
to hurl blackened barbs
as a subtle reminder to steer free and clear
of verboten fruit,
and as passive retribution
against further secrete liaisons
I took a silent vow to be chaste.

Though more difficult
to thread a camel thru the eye of a needle
which creature invites one definition of hump,
now overactive imagination of mine
presents sexually evocative disjointed poem
crafted some years in the past
which following example
many or most readers would claim
adds injury to insult,
nevertheless fantasy appeases animal
call of the wild
to envision whim to attain foreplay,
and subsequent gambol
elicits sought after outcome
after fruit of the loin linkedin
to nurse orgasmic penult.

Mebbe thru da world wide web
dis Yahoo of a Verizon hotmail lives
earth linked lad kin wed
this aol (owl) lush
former Norwegian bachelor
turning his married charade role alot
boot strong quaking testosterone
sans axon and neuron surges
thru this protoplasmic blot
closely resembles malignant blood clot
although just an infinitesimal dot
in cosmic skein since big bang hot
that birthed our universe
from microcosmic jot
best in webbed wide world
event in the cosmos
since invention of white bread -
gives empty calories a lot
soak up syrup
from chicken soup in a pot
followed and/or proceeded
by yar sweet kumquat
ex are size zing ma little dick tate tour
afore atrophy doth bring penile rot
strongly suggested by this tartan
non-tweed wearing scott
who seeketh mare ring type woman
hoofing to trot
bareback without shrieking WHAT!

The usual routine
t'will most likely
find me fantasizing
while this knight lies at night in bed
gets me little pawn feisty cred
with celibate life I dread
wonder if this smallish bore ring shaft
with smallish helmet head
will go sliding and slipping
like on well lubricated sled
and experience once again
when genital yar pussy will wed.

Matthew Scott (a mwm)
can hard lee await
to let each of us master bate
the other per climax to create
as the first of many a date
whereby his erect prick will ejaculate
into fecund field of whet dreams
cum with ongoing joyful fate
p'raps as friends, lovers
or e'en a temporary sexual mate.
although nada mooch bigger
than a cereal box toy
if ya wanna romp
with ma male member -
an imp for carnal ploy
which intercourse would give me joy
to drop me drawers lay anchor ahoy
perhaps with a phone number
for this gentile goy
who enjoys foreplay
playing being faux coy
no matter this mortal happens
to be a sixty + six year
young looking boy,
who would love
to lay his little leaping lemur
till anchor drops softly
in your mossy cove
and heart softly murmurs.

froom - Scott Matthews
a bar arse froom perky yo' man
hoops poetic ant ticks woos
and alight with desire froom heads to toes
middle man appurtenance elongates
like a little seaman
after a successful day
gone fishing he glows.