Fresh Out Of A Cold Shower...

After being amply lathered
from head to toe, aye
ya eye ya eye ya eye, and without fail
(gluteus maximus unloads a dump,

as predictably happens
like clockwork orange
after washing off suds),
this nada so grand poo ba
drops ship capsizing sinkers

(hefty waste ballast
causing sea level to rise), this aint
"NOT FAKE" just ask Cap'n Bligh
sitting athwart the poop deck

i.e. christened "Porcelain Goddess"
well nar did die
after being privy seeing yours truly
exit the water closet did espy

a much relieved rearing ass a nine guy,
which also earned me,
the nick name "Rump,"
not evident, via friendly customary wave

conveyed expediting,
(viz nonverbally)
business cheekily dreck eliminated
eh, the formality establishment,

sans customary "hi"
whereupon without any waste I
sought to secure these
weather beaten lovely bones of mine

preparatory to a tidal wave,
thus refuge sought
behind (a replica),
sans Bridge over the River Kwai
after moving ma bowels, no lie,

which predictable tsunami
predicated on my
humungous substantial
rectal discharge well nigh
generating threatening
rip snorting currents

impossible mission
e'en ex spurt semen to ply
especially, flush with panic (a bum er,
but mandatory duty) when lookout scout,
(an E Medic) didst spy
an immense wall of water, aye yai yai!