How to get a youthful figure

I know a secret and I'll share it with you, 
it is the answer to that age old question, 
how do you get a youthful figure when you have past your youth ?

it is not any type of low-carb diet
or just eating broccoli three times a day,
seaweed wrap in a hot bath
or stone therapy healing, 
yoga won't do it 
and the answer doesn't lie in plastic surgery, 
after all it falls apart in time
leaving you like a waxworks dummy.
going to the gym everyday will not work,
as for fitness dvds;
they are just a waste of time,
you could try all different types of potions and lotions 
from bee's jelly to caviar;
but the secret of a youthful figure 
is to ask a woman over a certain age how old she is.