JUST MAYBE

You ever just wondered 
How life could’ve been 
Maybe if I wasn’t exposed 
To what I had seen 
Maybe if I felt loved and not betrayed 
I wouldn’t have pushed people away
They might have stayed 
My trust was broken 
So was my heart 
You tore my whole world apart
You were a selfish cow 
And I’m old enough to realise that now 
Just when I was a kid 
I never realised the true extent 
To the stuff you did 
Don’t know where you heart is
But mines bruised 
I’m done with getting used 
It’s torture 
I’m supposed to be your daughter 
I was never valued in your life 
Don’t come back now and pretend it’s alright
Because it’s really not 
You practically forgot about me
Can’t you see 
you made me so weak 
And now you wonder why we never speak 
I can’t believe a word that you say
Mum a part of me wants you 
To just stay away
Stay out of my life 
You haven’t been there for the past 15 years
And I’m doing alright
Another part of me what’s a mum 
Someone who can encourage me 
To keep going when I feel like I’m done 
I’m still that little girl who’s wants her mum there
Who wants her mum to cuddle her 
To show some sort of care 
But you just left
You promised to be somewhere 
You say “ I always forget”
More like you can’t be bothered 
My heart is getting picked up and collected 
In small pieces 
You weren’t there when I was at my weakest
I hope karma hits 
And hits you hard 
You were never my mum 
Just someone who could leave me completely numb.