Poem -

Primitive Fear

Escaping Abuse

Primitive Fear

I'm sorry did I wake you?
I tried to tip toe past your door.
Was it your conscience that woke you?
Or my tears dripping on the floor?

I know I muffled my sobbing..
My internal pain you can not hear.
So it must be that your guilt ridden..
From how you threatened me with fear.

Please stop, do not get up!
I just want to get some sleep!
Please just leave me alone..
I promise you won't hear a peep.

I promise tomorrow I'll leave..
You won't have to see me again.
I've no where else to go tonight..
But tomorrow I'm on the first train.

I leave you as a bad memory..
But the pain suffered has all been mine.
Stupid me keeping my mouth shut..
Just so you could gloat and Shine.

One day people will learn the truth..
Because leopards dont change their spots.
Sooner or later a victim will speak out..
And you will go down at all costs.

I just want to escape you..
I may be weak, I may be frail.
But I'll be there on the sidelines..
When your handcuffed and sent to jail.

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Comments

author
Katina Woodruff...

Thought Provoking - Brought me to Tears!

 I had goosebumps after this stanza: 

I know I muffled my sobbing..
My internal pain you can not hear.
So it must be that your guilt ridden..
From how you threatened me with fear.

I am awe struck, with the amount of description and imagery used in the poem. I could hear your absent cries, how time can often stand perfectly still, then be in fear, never being free, only his. I can see a strong woman, behind the letters and phrases that sound like music. Keep writing just like this and the sky is the limit...

There are publishing houses that would want you to write for them, poetry, nonfiction, or fiction. You decide. If there was a ten-star rating, I would give it to you for this poem. You are speaking out, and speaking up. 

Good work. 
Grade: A+ 
​​​​​​​Or higher... 
 

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author
Derani Blackburn

Thankyou so much for a wonderful review.  For some reason after escaping the abuse the words easily flow.

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author
Katina Woodruff...

 
I was in tears after reading your poem. Then, I read two more poems on Cosmofunnel, that were about domestic abuse and other types of abuse. I had to stop reading for a while, to clear my mind of past events. 

I was lucky in a sense that I didn't face abuse on a daily level. It only happened a few times. Other events messed with my mind the most. The hardest part about being an abuse survivor, is the level of trust you once had in life, becomes strangled with the fear of: Will it happen again? 

I tried writing a memoir for 12 years, on and off until one day, the flash backs were so vivid I had to go into the hospital. I couldn't understand why I still felt the same fear, or kept seeing images streak past throughout most of my day. When I write about the past, it often leads me into a dark spell of depression. I want to thank you for your excellent writing skills, you told such a powerful story. 

I really think, you could start a nonfiction short story, to detail some of what you survived, how you became safe again and what you would like other woman or men to take from your experiences. 

Another writing tip for writing about hard subjects is: try writing the story in the third person, and changing your name and the assailant in the story. This may help get the story out, by allowing yourself a small frame of space to tell all, without it devouring you at a later time. 

I take medication for Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome, but it never seems to be enough. I'll never forget the past, but one day, I hope it is less scary to think about. 

Happy New Year
Please keep writing. You have such a wonderful story telling voice. Any poem that can make you cry, is 5 stars. :) 
 
 

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