Stretching outer limits of incredulity beyond realm of logic

In an attempt to recount how life came about on planet Earth,
thence subsequently spanning across the webbed wide world
birthed cockamamie idea within mind of then young Matthew
Scott Harris, who knew nothing about Charles Darwin Origin
of Species controversial revolutionary annunciation with much
excitation videre licet painstakingly slow process of evolution,
where over the course of billions of years origin of life became
as told to him tongue in cheek courtesy his kibitzing father and
mother manifest hoodwinked him (said boy gullibly prone to
accept gospel that every object in the sky peopled unwittingly
complement Harris mad scientist, (who spent substantial years
self sequestered - much like writer of these words) fabricating
in retrospect far out and groovy improbable hypotheses about
Norwegian bachelor farmer, who in an attempt to make powder
milk biscuits, put the ingredients in the refrigerator and absent
mindedly forgot about them until unusual noises heard distinctly
linkedin within invention to keep perishables frozen or cold - a
constant almost rhythmic rattle & hum eventually drew curious 
resident of Lake Woebegone, and supposed missing link within
genealogical family tree, which ostracized forebear unwittingly
created perfect magnetic force field environment where steely
sons of bitches outliers from outer limits of the twilight zone
not unlike the Jetsons (a fictional family from animated sitcom
of same name ineluctably pulled (usually against their will) said
television show aired in the1960s, and viewed by none other than
yours truly me as a rather quiet natured keenly observant little boy
ofttimes looking toward the heavens displaying inscrutable mien
dumbfounded look, whose furrowed brow contemplating expanse
undermined with puzzlement where multitudinous pinpoints of
light extended far into dark shadows unbeknownst to me childlike
wonder, & even mind boggling to one sexagenarian regarding deep
space comprising bajillion stars and stripes of various and sundry
animals and plants occupied where according to current scientific
understanding, the cosmos, or universe, is primarily composed of
three main components: normal matter (about 5%), dark matter
(around 27%), and dark energy (approximately 68%); with dark
matter and dark energy (drink) being the dominant constituents,
although their exact nature the stuff of an overactive imagination
such as mine conjured entities (especially more substantial when
edge of night crept across patch of property housed domain with
the address 2701 Lantern Lane, Audubon, Pennsylvania where
curious kid spent approximately the first half dozen years of his
life and hard time, and said residence I espied while returning
back to Schwenksville after the missus underwent minor routine
treatment (liquid nitrogen sprayed atop a dot over each to brow)
to stave off any potential future more serious issue with skin.