The Blind Date From Hell

My blind date became violent because I took her to Popeyes instead of KFC.
She didn't get her eleven herbs and spices so she beat the hell out of me.
I took her to Popeyes Chicken because Popeyes is cheaper.
She became so violent that I nearly met the Grim Reaper.
She jabbed me in the eye with a fork and crammed a salt shaker up my butt.
When she was done, she'd covered my body with wounds and cut off my nuts.
She actually wanted a second date but I strongly protested.
When she insisted on another date, I had the bitch arrested.
I'm having to pay to have my balls reattached and for the removal of the salt shaker from my butt.
I'll never go on a blind date again, not only does she become violent, she also looks like Jabba the Hutt.