Turkey mystery

Someone call the police
Please call them anyone
I left my turkey in the oven
Now my turkey is gone

I put it in early this morning
And it was smelling so nice
Then I make a macaroni pie
But had no sweet pepper for the fried rice

So just drove down to shop rite
But the line was very long
So while waiting I put on my ear plugs
And listening to some classic rock songs

I know my turkey will be sizzling by now
Succulent , dark and well done
But when I come back home
My fifteen-pound turkey was gone

I look all over the house
I even look outside in the backyard
And when the police came
They see me sitting on my front steps looking sad

I missing my turkey " Officer
You have to put out an APB
And lock up the person
Who steals my turkey from me

The APB apprehended a turkey in Jersey
But it was still frozen
So that was ruled out
As the turkey from my oven

Then they took a report and description
and then before they drive away
they said the detectives will call you later
meanwhile, look for friends or family with a turkey that they could share with me today

Then my doorbell rang
And there was detective Columbo with a cigar in his hand
And while fumbling through his coat pocket
He said I am detective Columbo " sir
Do you have a match I can borrow

So I explained to him about my situation
As he stood with his notepad writing
Then he looks up at me and said
" Sir I think I know what is the problem here, sir
“ Sir your turkey is missing "

But later when he left
That was the last of him I see
I guess his show got canceled
Or he went back to reruns on Cozi TV

But still, my turkey was missing
And I don't know who steal my turkey
I guess I will call Jessica from "murder she wrote"
To help solve my missing turkey mystery

But that would take to long
She probably living in California
And by the time she gets to Staten Island
The Thanksgiving will be over

Same time I saw Kanye west passing
And I said yo " Kanye someone steals my turkey
He said " kaz imma let you finish”
But Beyonce has the best turkey of all times , of all times"

yes some stole my turkey
and I getting no help at all
I am running out of options
Of who to call

I even call the Trinidad and Tobago police service
Hoping they could help their fellow Trinidadian
But they tell me to go outside
And look and see where the feller gone

So I decided to call some friends and family
And ask for a little slice
To go with my macaroni pie
And vegetable fried rice

Mrs spinner didn't answer
And Jonie phone was off
Jason said he didn't make any turkey
He just cooks a put of fish broff

my associate Vinnie tell me that I call too late
he just took the last leg in his plate
but say don’t worry kaz “ I got you
for 2019 thanksgiving if you can wait

who steal my turkey
please tell me, anyone,
the police not helping me
and I don’t know where my turkey gone

So I send out some message on messenger
Hoping one of my friends would have some extra to share
But when coming to Thanksgiving turkey
No one had any to spare

New York police not helping and Trinidad police can't solve a crime
So I call my cousin sherry in Texas
To ask her if she knows “ Sheriff Walt Longmire”
She said “CUZ where you been boy ? it's a few years now that show is off the air

So Now all hope of finding my turkey
 is surely gone
But the memory of seeing it in the oven
 will definitely live on

so now I sit down on my sofa crying
getting high with a bottle of brandy
when all of a sudden I heard my alarm ringing
and when I look at my phone it was early Thanksgiving morning “a quarter to three

so get up and ran to my refrigerator
and right there was my season uncooked turkey
so all this drama was just a nightmare of a dream
that’s why no one has solved my turkey mystery