Poem -
Old Rope
Swing high above filthy brook
Breathe deep before first leap
Hiding fear as branches shook
Listen to warning wind speak
************************
In fear of hearing breaking sound
Let go and feel exhilaration
Crashing into rockiest ground
For a seconds hesitation
***********************
As you fall down from the trees
On grateful land once more
Only scraping down the knees
And back for the encore
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Comments
These two final lines perfectly encapsulate one of the most recognisable moments in childhood; the moment when you've just done the exciting, dangerous thing (in this case, swinging on a seemingly rickety rope swing) and are so exhilarated that you NEED to go again...immediately!!
With beautiful imagery, seen through the haze of memory; and some truly lovely phrasing: you've preserved in poetry a priceless childhood memory...and shared it with all of us.
I love it...and you.
your Jason XxXxXxXx
Hi sweetheart, glad the imagery came across well. Yes as soon as you made the leap and of course you were okay...you had to run right back to repeat it
absolute madness
Hahaha
Thank you my love
Your Lorna
XxXx
I love this! It reminds me of when I was in elementary and my mom told me to be careful all the time. She used to tell me not to climb trees, but I always climbed them. I constantly jumped off of them too. The thrill that causes you to do it again and again, it's just within every child. It's sad that we tend to loose that fearlessness. As we get older we say "if it hurts is, we don't do it." Thank you for entering.
I remember this terrifying swing from my childhood. It was scary but so thrilling (not something I'd want my own children to do). Yet they too want to climb anything and everything in sight. :)
thank you so much for you lovely comment
Lorna
XXX
Great poem and story, when I was kid there was this swing in school after it rained there was a puddle at the end of the swing so we all take truns swing and trying to jump over the puddle if you made it over you had to try agin but if you landed in the pubble you got in trouble with the school and with your mom lot fun the good olds days
Hi Greg, thank you so much for your comment and insight into my childhood poem, I really appreciate your kind words
thank you
Lorna
XX
Hi Lorna,
Ouch!!! we've been there...we all fall down and we learn to get up, and we learn from our mistakes// as parents , we are even more scared than the kids/// I love this, it takes me to my fondest childhood memory. Thanks for sharing.
hugs
leah
Hi Leah, thank you for your comment on this one, I enjoyed writing it as it brought back some good memories
Love
Lorna
XXX
Hey LORNA!!.....I think EVERYONE... and I DO mean EVERYONE..... will eat this up like the awesome sauce that it plainly is!!...... every single word, nuance, phrase, and finally those incredible stanza's take the reader through something we ALL relate to so emotionally, some figuratively, but for the most part an emotional attachment that is near instantaneous !!......the progression of the stanza's is truly magnificent!!!..... wow!!..... you hit a home run here girlfriend!!...... bless you..... and.....thanx for the memories!!......PINNED for perfection!!.......LOVE and ROCKETS!!......T xo ?✳✴☀♥
Hi Tony, ...Wow!!! Your comment is amazing, I feel like I must have definitely done something right!! Hahaha.....I was hoping people would relate to this as I was feeling pretty nostalgic writing it...I'm really working hard on trying to perfect my writing style and I'm so glad it's paying off
thank you so much
Love
Lorna
XXX
Hi Cherie,
the freedom of youth is something I miss too. As an adult you tend to see the risk so don't take it, where as children have such a limited perception of risk they just jump right in
Thanks for your Lovely comment :)
Love
Lorna
XXX
Takes me back to childhood!!!! Perfect
Thanks Gregory, I really appreciate your kind words
Lorna :D
This is certainly Lorna, a memory bubble that takes this contented reader back.
You picture it perfectly and encapsulate it so well in well chosen words.
Words that hark back to those more innocent, care free, when kids were fearless at play in halcyon days of yesteryear.
Full golden honours and thanks for sharing that trip down memory lane. :) x.
Hi Shaun, yes just reading this back I had a flash of nostalgia about this swing....it was named (and say this in a geordie accent) "The Death-a"
. You didnt land in a the stream you landed on the grass over the stream and from quite some height... (I wouldnt want my two to do it)
Thank you, I'm actually enjoying going backwards wasn't sure I would!!
lorna x
Lorna have switched my Geordie accent to 100% but alas bonny lass "The Death-a" seems to be sounding like The Dither!
Is that right or should I phone The Samaritans and say I have a serious problem and can they help!
And always good to reminisce to better days and forgot to mention earlier, such a brilliant title you chose :) x.
Not dither,...but death (Aahh) is possibly the best way to put it
and yes the samaritans NEED to be called hahaha
I wrote a version of the "lord of the dance" in geordie but I can't quite put it in the public domain hahaha
hope that helps boyo ;)
Fuck it! I sound like a bloody Dalek now!!!
And this boyo can't shake it off!
Anyway moving on... would like to read your geordie version of "lord of the dance".
But reading between your lines it sounds a bit risqué and bawdy ...so go for it!
Damn the critics!
Sees yous tomorrows my friend and more poetry travelling awaits this more than happy most contented poetry bunny of a reader bonny, bonny lass! :) X.
Hahahaha...I've just done a darlek voice and yes that's about it ahhhahahaha!!!
it's not risque! It's just not right!!
Night bonny boyo