Why do you run??
Why do you run?Â
When a girl looks in the mirror, what do you think she sees?
A beautiful Goddess, well no that's not meÂ
When I look in the mirror, just for a glanceÂ
I see someone who doesn't even have a chanceÂ
I see my imperfections, the face that no one likesÂ
When a boy sees me, his first words are "Yikes!"Â
I feel my fat, the extra bits of meÂ
I swear I must be a normal girl times three!
Me ma says I'm grand, sure look at aunt Pat
She says "look at her, and you thought you were fat!"
That didn't cheer me up though, not even a bit
But I did laugh out loud, now that I'll admit!
I look at my clothes, my sister hands-me-downs
They make me look like I was raised by clowns
In school I have no friends, no surprise thereÂ
It's probably because instead of smile, I scare
I send people running, gone like a shot
So I cry in the bathrooms, covered in snot
At the end of it all, I realised one thing
It was because of the "Run" note attached to me by string!Â
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Comments
I love the rhyme and appreciate the clever way you have concocted a sorry state of events into humour. Well-written!Â
Tehmina xo
Thank you, I really appreciate your feedback! :) xÂ
Hey RACHEL!!.... Even though there are some humorous lines here and some VERY funny rhyming phrases I find this a bit on the sad side...... making fun of yourself to find some way to fit in simply means that you're hanging around the wrong kind of people...... because there is certainly beauty to be found in someone who has won prizes and accolades for their poetry and language skills...... when you get a little older I think you'll find there are fewer people who make you feel ashamed for how much you weigh......I think you're beautiful already for daring to put up the honest truth here on COSMO!!....... Please remember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle in this life...... and you, my new found friend, are VERY capable...... judging by the heart of this poem...,,, and things can only get better so long as you continue to work hard at every endeavor you choose to undertake.....ALL STARS!!..... well done dear poet sister!!......LOVE and ROCKETS!!......T xo ???? ♥♥?
, the message behind my poem, in particle the metaphor of the “run” note, was that the paranoi thoughts in my head weren’t real. I wrote this poem to tell people that sometimes when they think other people are being judgemental it’s actually their own thoughts taking over. I did this by saying that other people are running away because I’m fat, meaning I jumped straight into conclusions that that’s why they were running, when really it was because of the “run” note which is a metaphor for my own thoughtsÂ
Well thank you for clearing that up RACHEL!!..... an interesting metaphor you've employed here!!...... keep 'em coming!!..... smiles......T xo?
Rachel I really love this fantastic peace of work and strangely, for a bloke in his fifties, the metaphor has great resonance. In my youth I believed myself ugly, too small, too skinny, too ginger. While I don't think that my lack of self belief scared anyone away it meant that I missed many chances simply because I couldn't believe they were being offered to me. Without meaning to I have told many beautiful people to run.
Metaphor aside this write is wonderful because of your voice. "me ma say's I'm grand, sure, look at aunt Pat". Your own idiom, your own voice.
Welcome to Cosmofunnel, honest poet, I look forward to following your words.Â
Wow, I'm so glad you understand the message behind my poem and can relate to it on a personal level :) This was one of the reasons why I wanted to share my poetry- to relate to other people and share my experience at the same time. Thank you so much for your feedback, it means the world
-RachelÂ
This is so incredibly sad and touching! Often the people who have least self esteem and worry most about their body/looks, are the most beautiful soles.Â
Another amazingly written poem! Your work is so heartfelt, you are very clever!Â
Kate x