Funny

It pains me to say that my penis is only half an inch long.
It's extremely embarrassing because I...

Many years ago, I started a band and my friends and I named our band 'Kiss'.
That angered Gene...

You can't catch flies with vinegar but you sure can with honey.
I can't catch any girls in my town...

I owe money to a man named Robert G. Durant.
I want to pay him the money I owe but I can't.
...

Freanch fries are wise
for best result
cook in the fry

good with gravy
or...

I titled this poem 'ED' but it doesn't spell the name Ed.
I have erectile dysfunction, I can't take...

If there's one thing that I can't stand, it's a litter bug.
Whenever I see one, I get mad and they...

A man ripped me off, he sold he a retired race horse that had been gelded.
He neglected to tell me...

I just had a coffe,
It really wasent bad,
Ran out of cream so I had it
just black...

While I was on vacation, two squatters came to my house to live.
They didn't even get permission,...

1.
Surfing along with my head phones on,

"Just leave him alone, It's how he gets his groove...

When Coleco made the Atari 2600 Donkey Kong Junior, what were they thinking?
When they made this...

One day Barney Fife was practicing his quick draw.
He accidentally shot Thelma Lou, he broke the law...

He had a straw body and a straw head
At night he rested on his large straw bed
This man...

Judgment amazingly clear.
The signature smirk,
As eyes go up then down.
Criticism...

Eyes asleep
Body half awake
I frantically scrammed
As the alarm clock began to quake...

I didn't get much schooling so I can't read or write.
Many people don't understand my situation and...