Funny

Tossing and turning
trying desperately..
To catch a red squirrel
in my dreams...

WARNING: This poem contains language that may not be suitable for certain readers.

A foreign waiter...

My blind date became violent because I took her to Popeyes instead of KFC.
She didn't get her eleven...

Laugh to much without notice.
Shoving to show dislike,
While really showing you like....

I went back in time to date Pocahontas because I heard she was hot.
But when I went back in time to...

I had to do it mam ( Christine Stubbs) ?? scared for life and emotionally abused ?? but what a fantastic...

I'm a coat stand and you're a chair
I get put on you get sat on does anyone care
It's not...

Even though my son is only five years old, he's somebody who you'll clobber.
He is an adorable child...

I own a store and I sell rabbits for a living.
When people mess with me, I'm not a man who is...

The vicar's knickers were skimpy and small
They were hanging serenely against the garden wall...

I own a bomb but it's not the kind of bomb that you think.
It's a DVD and it's so bad that it made...

I made the mistake of going to a different dentist.
He did something terrible because he was pissed...

My neighbor is so cheap that he uses an antique lawn mower to cut his grass.
He's the cheapest man I...

You asked for my help because you have a broken arm and leg.
I've been helping you because I hate to...

This may be hard for you to believe.
But I always kick the asses of thieves.
While working at...

I agreed to do a lot of yard work for a man for 125 bucks.
I did the work but when I asked for the...

Even though my wife is somebody who I love and adore,
She decided not to let me touch or see her...