Funny

My name is Luigi and I inherited a mansion that is haunted.
But when Grandpa died, he didn't leave...

I found out why a lot of people started hating me.
I was a screenwriter and I wrote Superman III....

You hired me to be a cook at your restaurant.
I'll cook but I won't do everything you want.
...

In between the hollyhocks,
beneath yon row of peony roses
there dwells Mrs. Snuffoculus...

When I was a teenager, I made a lot of fathers unhappy.
I was constantly being beaten up or shot at...

As children, when Lucy pulled away the football, it was cute.
Back then I could laugh about it and I...

When I went to Las Vegas, I lost all of my money and I also lost my wife's entire life savings.
I...

I'm one of the owners of a trucking company that's called STD.
Nobody will hire us, even when we...

It's that time of the month again, your rent is due.
You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out...

My stepson is so stupid that he was busted by the cops.
It all started when the damn idiot stole...

It made me very angry and people are stupid when they say it's no big deal.
If my uncle wasn't...

Young in my adolescence I remember being caught up from the smells
of a savory fume
The aroma...

People are saying that I'm a rotten kid.
They're mad and can't believe what I did.
Summer...

A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than...

A taxi driver charged me fifty bucks for a short trip.
And then the S.O.B. had the nerve to ask for...

When I agreed to work for room and board, I was told that it would be good.
But the boss lied to me...

The new Doctor Who TV show is a true masterpiece, a masterpiece of shit.
I have a son who was...