Funny

My cousin was a major pain in the ass, he always wanted to borrow money.
He's 45 years old but he's...

My rich uncle bought me a brand new car but it's such a stupid gift.
He bought me a Corvette but he...

Because my parents wouldn't buy me any new clothes, I started using a needle and thread.
They...

I stole one of Donald Trump's credit cards five years ago.
I spent ten million dollars and prison...

His name is Mario Mario and he was Nintendo's mascot.
He used to be Nintendo's biggest star but now...

My name is Luigi and I inherited a mansion that is haunted.
But when Grandpa died, he didn't leave...

I found out why a lot of people started hating me.
I was a screenwriter and I wrote Superman III....

You hired me to be a cook at your restaurant.
I'll cook but I won't do everything you want.
...

In between the hollyhocks,
beneath yon row of peony roses
there dwells Mrs. Snuffoculus...

When I was a teenager, I made a lot of fathers unhappy.
I was constantly being beaten up or shot at...

As children, when Lucy pulled away the football, it was cute.
Back then I could laugh about it and I...

When I went to Las Vegas, I lost all of my money and I also lost my wife's entire life savings.
I...

I'm one of the owners of a trucking company that's called STD.
Nobody will hire us, even when we...

It's that time of the month again, your rent is due.
You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out...

My stepson is so stupid that he was busted by the cops.
It all started when the damn idiot stole...

It made me very angry and people are stupid when they say it's no big deal.
If my uncle wasn't...

Young in my adolescence I remember being caught up from the smells
of a savory fume
The aroma...