Funny

Until last month, I had a sixty year old pen pal.
She turned out to be a liar and a not so nice gal...

I have a story to tell but it's pretty dark.
I get in a lot of trouble with my loan shark.
He...

When my son asked me to buy him the new Call of doody, I said no.
I had to ground him because of the...

When I was alive, I was a big fan of the Indiana Jones films but that was a mistake.
When it came to...

I got in big trouble one day when I went to the mall to shop.
I beat the crap out of one of the...

Some agree with what my brother did but others don't understand.
Something bad happened and he...

I'm getting sick of the people who come to my store to shop.
They come here and try to steal and I...

It all started when my damn house was infested.
I killed every rat in my house and I was arrested....

This is a tale about little Jimmy Nicholl
Out walking one day he got himself into a pickle
...

My wife died and I was the only parent that my son had.
But he decided to get me in trouble because...

Never ask for a kebab again
Cause now this will never end,
So skint no food or gas ,no hot...

My old pal put the fiend in friend.
He caused our friendship to end.
He took my car without...

When it came to the 2016 Presidential nominations, they were rigged.
Trump and Clinton's nominations...

When I went to Walmart, a man bought the last Nintendo Switch.
I was angry and I decided to steal it...

I was sitting in the park one day
in the shade underneath a tree
When I saw this little...

I tortured a man and it gave me pleasure to hear him holler and squeal.
He sounded just like a pig...

Some people call my cousin stupid and others call him mentally ill.
He counterfeited money but he...