Filched formerly anatomical slender man - me! Thus I take a pot belly stance!

Absolute zero escape
velocity gutted dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather
physique I sorely miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of fat did advance
shotgun marriage demanded allegiance
to pledge lifetime alliance
no room for allowance
crushing lightness of being ambiance,
analogous to earth in the balance,
an uncomfortable truth
stares back at me
while looking in the mirror
a taunting reflection sneers
(strongly resembling the Grinch
who stole Christmas),
nor exist allies
(such as little Cindy Lou Who,
or any other member of the Wu-Tang Clan)
to help me combat
battle fatigue require
ring superman endurance
to muster strength
to stand erect else ambulance
(much to the EMTs annoyance)
will whisk away husky
embarrassing appearance
loose fitting clothing
jelly roll appurtenance
overnight digital readout,
asper body mass index
scaled quick ascendance,
thus when showering,
I look askance
fearing bulging balloon
will necessitate assistance
else... diet of worms
as only assurance
safeguarding body electric
against hecklers at open casket
no matter, a small populace
madding crowd in attendance
yea... eventual cremation
after life only fat chance
to alleviate present circumstance
heavy matter fails security clearance
the price for astute cognizance
weak willpower alighting countenance
esse pie ying sweet treats
now measures taken to counterbalance
to fight temptation and dalliance
overruling feasting craving delectation
to restore trim deliverance
love handles around equator
no magician can render disappearance
yes the discontinuance
of just dessert must maintain distance
without being weighed
down with disturbance
by heaviest haunch
ain't no elegance
lugging extra encumbrance
when throughout my early life,
skinny, yet able to steel glance
mirrored reflection now grievance,
where wistful memory
ha...ironic insouciance
more so than
today finds intolerance,
thus woebegone issuance
thorn in muss hide
to experience jubilance
hmm...maybe a strong
arm can lance
excess flab quite a nuisance
to defy gravity, why penance
sans unsightly paunch
yours truly laments when just a skinny lad
epidermis fit skin tight, thus petulance
lame excuse unwanted protuberance
necessitates dedicated pursuance
recollection of washboard
abdomen impossible, yes inconvenient truth,
nevertheless acquiescence to body dysmorphia
only death do me part will witness quittance,
yet I gladly welcome videre licet reassurance
regarding unconditional acceptance
nothing accomplished by remonstrance
against physically embarrassing repugnance
thankfully the missus affects tolerance
of her hubby and practices vigilance
concerning buzzfeeding me healthy foods.