Husband for sale at holiday discounted price

Tongue in cheek
by this moldering hybrid
combination nerd and geek
who suffers cerebral leak
which putrescence doth reek.

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
(with nary any cavil),
and perhaps even avail
herself (sight unseen),
with a moderate chance
zee spouse might bewail
this bread crumb
winner, chauffeur,
bill payer latching
on to mine tattered coattail

in an effort
to sustain this misery loves
company wedded
harrowed distress,
where future prospect
appears dim (sum) mutt
unlikely to curtail or halt
this (mine button nose to the
grind stone) pennilessness
only promises inevitable derail

meant, since grow
wing unflattering pessimism
only harkens more (spiraling
down rabbit hole re: abysmal)
substantial hardship
(possibly even homelessness),
asper my remaining lifetime
woeful struggle - as sigh exhale
before figuring out what to write
for these ensuing
lines, yet strongly anticipating zero
lucky search for a female,
if this mister didst
decouple from his caboose -
whereat A*** R**** (the missus)
will holler "VAMOOSE"
as an opportunity to exit
clear and present danger field
pinning optimism for a gal,
who exhibits ambition,
earns her own income
(or per slim or fat chance
might be independently wealthy),
plus bing hearty and hale,
this chap communicates
no outlandish fanciful
general electric sponsored idea,
which elaborate or general sketch
for some ideal counterpart
might immediately impale
any likelihood on
a figurative crucifixion
hmm...maybe turning
to a life of crime,
and befriending a foul mouthed,
heavily pierced, and
tattooed in jail
professing pseudonymous party privy
to access Swiss Bank accounts
own much moolah - kale
as said in the narco
world wide webbed trade,
thus such laundered legal tender,
would clearly evince
natural "green thumb" talent
in tandem with sharp (as a hawk)
business acumen spiriting over
financially choppy waters
as doth a lugsail
with this aging
baby boomer sixty four year
young blooded Caucasian male,
he generally steers
toward straight and true
analogous to an ace
(care'n) carpenter blindly hammering
the head of a nail
pounding out frustration unsure
if asking price over-scale
regarding negligible
demand for preowned,
housebroken, and domesticated fellow,
whose demeanor pastorale.