Night to forget

"I want you" , she whispered,
whisky breath in my ear.
That was the first thing that went wrong
as I choked on my beer.

After trying to wipe
the beer stain off her blouse,
we stumbled and crashed
to the door of my house.

I tripped on the step
and crashed through the door.
Oh my God, what's that smell,
The cat's shit on the floor.

"Clean it up in the morning,"
She said holding her nose.
"I need you inside me,
Take off my clothes."

"It's stuck," I said
as I tugged at her zip.
Then I stood up too fast and
headbutted her lip.

"I will do it." she mumbled,
as her lip started to swell.
"Can you undress yourself
or shall I do that as well ?"

I tugged off my shirt
and kicked off my shoes,
hit her right on the nose.
Boy, did she blow a fuse.

That's how my night ended,
I walked her back out to the door
and forgot as I proceeded
to step on the shit on the floor.

"Can I see you again ?" I said
as I gave back her clothes.
She gave me one last look
then punched me right on the nose.

"Don't call me or text me."
She shouted making it clear.
I think next time I'll stay off
That 9% beer.