Poem -

Scotch Tape Sweepstakes

Scotch Tape Sweepstakes

The easy to handle
sticky sided material
made of a variety of materials, including
cellulose acetate, polypropylene,
PVC, and adhesive
(alluded to in the title)
applied in an innovative manner
allowing, enabling, and providing me
the means and ways to affix paper bags
artfully, carefully, and gingerly
paper folded over school books,
which requisite book covers
(Trader Joe's bags supremely sturdy)
lasted the entire school year,
and offered an opportunity
to flaunt my creativity
without marring the school property
subsequently said weathered book covered,
id est paper plastered with scotch tape
offering a clear smooth sheen,
albeit fantastically, easily and courtesy
itty bitty teensy weensy serrated edge
used to cut off cleanly
in a very precise manner
over every square inch
of dad who bagged agilely
Methacton School reading material,
which left the book like new
(actually removing said cover
analogous to solving a Chinese puzzle)
subsequently at close of term
and eighth year of being educated
after getting promoted to the next grade
got sold at electronic auction
to the highest bidder –
powder milk biscuits free),
for a decent price,
which amazingly enough
intact wrapping materials
once removed with surgical precision
to maintain integrity of specially crafted
Matthew Scott Harris quality binding
grace the halls
of many famous art institutes,
(and many walls of nouveau riche
and worth - in my nonbiased
humble estimation) a mint,
when sold off eBay giving me near
instantaneously fame and fortune
to quit the rigors
of an honors based academic curriculum,
and reap laurels publishing and selling
my book with the grateful assistance
particularly when - yours truly
as one of the topnotch students
in Mister Bergey's math class,
(slated to graduate June 19__,
but on account
of stupendous entrepreneurial talent,
and nonpareil literary composition
in tandem with making
heavy duty sturdy book covers,
which humdrum assignment
delivered overnight fame and fortune,
the unheard of acclaim
gave me a ticket to ride
to the head of the class
after phenomenal success
affixing said book covers)
after beloved popular educationist
assigned each kid
why he/she needed
to cover Algebra book
extra credit Brownie/
Cub scout points given
for endeavor presented
on optional writing endeavor
penning a convincing essay
about why such action
ought to be undertaken,
not only the obvious reason
to ensure protection
against the elements at large
that could wreak havoc
and render ruinous
said book next to useless
thus after some brainstorming
this then precocious
paperback writer wannabe
(essentially fool on the hill)
You Do The Calculus;
A Radical Exponent
With Number Of Factors
To Cover Textbook
dreamt up the aforementioned drab title
videre licet crafty appellation
all the while enveloping, kneading,
and sporting mine smug mug
(of yours truly - the author holding pet pug)
an absolutely glorious amazing
example of his creation
recyclable with minor alterations
for generations of vipers.

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