Sexually explicit meme more real day

originally written May 31st, 202_
humorously, posthumously,
and tempestuously expressing woes
from the top of my talking head
to gnarly nails of
(this little piggy fame) toes
in sore need and want
of a podiatrist I suppose,
which keratin structures
at the end of plates
of meaty ten digits
topping off little feet
dextrous enough to type poetry and prose
and play violin highs and lows,
but only the shadow knows
that one among
common prickly Joe's
alternately titled re: double entendre
the red, white and blue
diminutive soldier (when
squeezed like a toy gun
cocked and primed
to fire off load)
then gets flaccid like a slimy hose
does double duty
in tandem with magic wand,
lifelike snaky entity
that actually grows
particularly necessary when
burst of fiery secretion flows
intense spray powerful enough
to pulverize knees and elbows
subsequently witnessing
yours truly to doze
an ideal time to take
a naked lunch break
at petticoat junction
to figuratively close
itty bitty teensy weensy
of cross between humpback sperm whale
analogous to miniscule Moby Dick
regarding how prurient introduction
to reasonable rhyme blows.

I chose to memorialize, alas and alack
atypical/unusual fond memory -
argh, a sudden nostalgia attack
many... countless years gone back
livingsocial at 324 Level Road,
elapsed good times,
I can never buyback
prominent Gambone family builders
demolished complex edifice
currently repurposed mansion
manse sin courtesy
vinyl city as Stella's Way
boyhood address above,
never seen since transformed
into latter place name, which property
originally christened Glen Elm,
(within national registries)
yours truly can easily callback
detailed information searching internet
if mine eyes espied absent estate...
slack jawed stare would repeatedly
sow sadness weighing me heart
heavy as coalsack
accompanying sorrow with
attendant flood of tears,
would make an immediate comeback
impossible mission to stopper
feeble, futile and lame counterattack
where sentimental reverie would
carry me far away to Old Virginny,
for no particular rhyme nor reason.
e'en attempting to write
recollections might trigger
tsunami imminent domain
grievous childhood memories
recollecting watching silent home movies,
while chomping on crackerjack
when I had real teeth.
Like puss in boots, the Missus
axed me to enliven herself
regaling humorous instances, thus I cutback
to... party hardy times,
the major drawback
x amount of time elapsed
summoning special occasions
(surgeon general's warning
such mental revisitations)
fraught with onset,
where perilous flashback
will moost likely
violently grip cerebral cortex
analogous to suckerpunch puny chap (me)
knocked unconscious courtesy
searingly robust fullback,
nevertheless impossible mission
to restrain waterworks I intend to hijack,
and hoop fully succeed tamping tears
strong suggestion
as encouraged by hunchback
from Notre Dame Dublin
known within these neck of woods
as storied Paul Bunyan
also alias Philanderer,
(especially among superficially
prim and proper, but
actually prurient women folk),
whose services regarding payback
best abide, adhere, and afford
to pay forward credo fore playbook.
Said burly lumberjack
with severe scoliosis,
nonetheless quite self evident
his outsize implement,
(ye need not axe further questions)
extinguishing problematic residue
iterated further within
mine playful ramble
herewith to enliven
anecdote ever further,
I inject humorous tidbit
just gimme moment
to unload and reach
into psychological
metaphorical knapsack
particularly blue's clue
slimy hose from days of yore, my keepsake
to forcibly remove dingleberries
birthed courtesy emergency pit stop
without means and ways to clean derriere,
a feeble and futile attempt.
Haint no fallacy
yours truly subsequently secured
more powerful giant accouterment),
while clinging for dear life
perched atop ledger
or edger domain of clawfoot bathtub,
(ah how convenient and timely
smallish size Jacuzzi getup to appear)
and lemme figuratively
continue closing pathetic riffraff
(apropos of nothing) rifling around
mostly strewn with random tchotchkes
and odd bubba's zayda's knickknack
such as ahh... look here hocked wares,
acquired ready to receive paddywhack
giving doggerel bonafied chops.