The Big Lie

I have climbed up Mount Everest
It didn't take long.
I rescued a beautiful lady
From King Kong.
I was captain of England
We beat every team.
I told Martin Luther King
That he had a dream.
The Queen phoned and asked
If I could go round for tea
( we have been best mates
Since she was three)
Neil Amstrong wasn't
The first man on the moon
I went 2 weeks before
On a giant balloon.
I taught Albert Einstein
All that he knew
I swam the Atlantic
When I was just two.
I showed Elvis Presley
How to wiggle his hips
Marilyn Monroe kissed me
Right on the lips.
So if you tell me a story
And lie to add spice
Remember,  whatever you've done
 I've done it twice.