Fiction

Poem -

I Accidentally Killed Luke...

This poem was inspired by "Star Wars".

I Accidentally Killed Luke Skywalker

When Luke Skywalker visited our planet and my restaurant, he died.
Chewbacca and Leia were furious...

Poem -

Todd, the Wimp

This poem was inspired by the "Beavis and Butt-Head"...

Todd, the Wimp

I pretend to be a tough guy but that's just an act.
I'm the world's biggest coward and that's a fact...

Poem -

Lust For Revenge

Lust For Revenge

He shot his friend while hunting and said he mistook him for a deer.
But the jury didn't buy it and...

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Poem -

I've Been Shot In The...

I had good reason to run.
A man pulled out his gun.
He was a shithead and I wouldn't take his...

Poem -

She Shouldn't Be...

She Shouldn't Be Wearing White

I'm your best man and what I'm going to say may start a fight.
But your intended has a lot of nerve...

Poem -

Life Is Unfair Because I&...

Life Is Unfair Because I'm Losing My hair

Something happened and I'm appalled.
My wife left me because I'm going bald.
It just goes to...

Poem -

I Accidentally Killed My Son

This is a fictional poem but sadly, it's reality for some...

I Accidentally Killed My Son

Last summer, I accidentally killed my baby son.
When I learned what happened, I screamed "What have...

Poem -

Lightning Bolt

I was inspired to write this poem this morning when it came a...

Lightning Bolt

A man was too drunk to give his son a ride.
Lightning struck his only son and he died.
He...

Poem -

Expensive Date

I made a mistake when I asked the wrong lady for a date.
I never knew that a man could end up...

Poem -

Glass Joe

This poem was inspired by the Punch-Out video game

I'm an ex-prizefighter and my name is Glass Joe.
If you're wondering if I could win fights, the...

Poem -

I've Felt More Warmth...

You tricked me into marrying you when I was drunk.
When I learned what happened, my ship was sunk....

Poem -

The Misunderstanding

The Misunderstanding

When I told my wife that her dad bought the farm, she thought he died.
But he actually bought a farm...

Poem -

My Wife's Damn Violin

This poem was inspired by an episode of Bonanza

My Wife's Damn Violin

My wife is extremely bad at playing the violin.
I hope that I go deaf and can never hear again....

Poem -

It Won't Be Your Way...

Even though this poem is fictional, I really would leave such a...

You think it's going to be your way or the highway but that's not how it's going to be.
You'd better...

Poem -

Forced To Go AWOL

What happened is certainly enough to appall.
I'm in the Army and I was forced to go AWOL.
I...

Poem -

Damn Houseguest

Damn Houseguest

I'm sorry to say that I have a houseguest.
The asshole is a troublemaker and a pest.
He...