Fiction

Poem -

Hawk

Hawk

A damn hawk swooped down and swiped my baby.
He flew away with my son and I don't mean maybe....

Poem -

Car Salesmen Make Good...

Car Salesmen Make Good Congressmen

Used car salesmen make good Congressmen because they're both crooks.
I own a used car lot and if you...

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Poem -

The Star Wars Holiday...

The Star Wars Holiday Special Kills

I need to warn you about something you shouldn't do.
If you watch the Star Wars Holiday Special, it...

Poem -

Hitler Is In Suspended...

Hitler Is In Suspended Animation

I have learned that Adolf Hitler has survived.
He's in suspended animation and will be revived....

Poem -

How To Never Have To Wait...

How To Never Have To Wait In Lines

I want to share a story of mine.
It's about how to never have to wait in lines.
If you listen...

Poem -

Fill In The Blankety Blank

Fill In The Blankety Blank

People query me occasionally
(not really as I have no peeps)
if my content poetry
...

Poem -

My Dick Is a Dog

I lost my wiener because my ex-wife cut off my log.
And the doctor had to replace my dick with a dog...

Poem -

Santa Gone Bad

Santa Gone Bad

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house.
Santa stole all of my stuff and he ran...

Poem -

My Son Won't Get A PS5...

My Son Won't Get A PS5 For Christmas

I was nearly killed and I'm damn lucky to be alive.
This Christmas my son won't get a Playstation 5...

Poem -

I'm Frankenstein'...

I'm Frankenstein's Monster

When it comes to Doctor Frankenstein and I, people certainly don't admire us.
When Frankenstein...

Poem -

Under Her Thumb

Under Her Thumb

My wife thought she could keep me under her thumb.
She thought she would be my boss but she is...

Poem -

The Fonz Was A Wimp

This poem was inspired by the "Happy Days" Television...

The Fonz Was A Wimp

I learned that Arthur Fonzerelli was actually a wimp.
I beat him senseless and he started walking...

Poem -

The three magic mushrooms ???

The three magic mushrooms ???

On Lily of the Valley land just beside the forget me nots there are three magic mushrooms, scarlet red...

Poem -

The Sausage

The Sausage

I tied a sausage to my leg and for a short time my ex-girlfriend was fooled.
But she dumped me flat...