Fiction

I tied a sausage to my leg and for a short time my ex-girlfriend was fooled.
But she dumped me flat...

When everything has been said and done.
You are not good enough for my son.
You've been with...

When I was a boy, my brother put a weed eater down my pants.
My new wife demanded that I get her...

She is Daisy Duke and her cousins went too far.
Bo and Luke accidentally destroyed her yellow car....

It's dark, it's goopy.
It makes lots of fun
I shake it and stir it
until it's done....

My ex-wife loved to argue, complain and nag.
She hated The Dukes of Hazzard because of the flag....

My wife and I both worked at a video game store.
They closed and we're not working there anymore....

My uncle died many years ago and he won't be coming back.
A cruel joke was played on him and he died...

A jerk thought he was being smart when he stole my Ford truck.
But he didn't know that it had no...

I shouldn't have given my son a choice when I bought him a car.
He could've chosen something cheaper...

Even though I'm only twenty-seven years old, my hair has turned gray.
I was beaten by a boxer who...

When people say that smoking stunts a person's growth, it's true.
I've smoked for thirty-seven years...

People ganged up on me and I didn't stand a chance.
It was because when I watched The Dukes of...

When my girlfriend and I went to a restaurant, Elaine Benes started harassing her.
When she saw my...

Some call him a bastard and others call him a cunt.
But everybody hates that dog that's on Duck Hunt...

I'm angry because of a gift that I received on my birthday.
My friend bought me "Batman and Robin"...

It was one of the dumbest things that I've ever seen.
My stupid daughter put a screen door on my...