Funny

My ex-girlfriend dumped me even though I have cancer.
My sister knocked her out in a mall and then...

It is illegal to refuse to hire disabled people in the state of Tennessee.
Even though I graduated...

When I tell people that my name is Justin Bred,
they think that I'm a hick with no brain in my head...

There's something about my wife that astounds me.
She won't use any appliance unless it's made by GE...

I had all of the original Star Wars action figures that were sealed in their packs.
My ex-friend...

Many injuries have occurred because of this stupid son of mine.
My youngest son is so ignorant that...

People started returning apples to my store.
Because of word of mouth, they don't want them anymore...

Whenever I buy cigarettes, my neighbor steals them.
I really hate thieves and a part of me wants to...

My parents bought me an NES thirty years ago in 1988.
At the time, owning that video game console...

Don't be cross with me, life is too short mon ami,
we should behave nicely, conduct ourselves...

Who are these faces looking down on me?
I need my time, I need my space, I want my privacy.
...

Last year, I found five million dollars in a briefcase.
The owners want it back, I'm constantly...

I learned that the woman of my dreams isn't a filly.
Just a few nights ago, I learned that she has a...

I watched the worst movie ever made, it truly sucks.
The movie that I'm talking about is Howard the...

Can somebody help me
Please help anyone
I am looking for my Meghan
And I don't know...

I got my butt kicked by a man who has very big muscles.
I was moving in on his girlfriend who is...

I own something that makes my life a living Hell.
I've become a social outcast because I drive an...