Funny

My English teacher hates me,
I've noticed these past months,
After all my well meant...

I charged a town full of hicks ten thousand bucks to make it rain.
They said if there was no...

I PASSED BY THE MIRROR TODAY
AND WHAT DID I SEE
SOME LITTLE OLD LADY
STARING BACK AT...

My dream came true when I became a referee.
But my heart is broken because they fired me.
I...

I DREAMED AGAIN ABOUT A PRINCE
THE ONE I'VE YET TO MEET
I KNOW HE'S TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME...

She's finding things springy,
how our life coils,
and springs back into place.
she's...

I've filed for divorce because my wife did something strange.
She went behind my back and had a sex...

My ex-girlfriend dumped me even though I have cancer.
My sister knocked her out in a mall and then...

It is illegal to refuse to hire disabled people in the state of Tennessee.
Even though I graduated...

When I tell people that my name is Justin Bred,
they think that I'm a hick with no brain in my head...

There's something about my wife that astounds me.
She won't use any appliance unless it's made by GE...

I had all of the original Star Wars action figures that were sealed in their packs.
My ex-friend...

Many injuries have occurred because of this stupid son of mine.
My youngest son is so ignorant that...

People started returning apples to my store.
Because of word of mouth, they don't want them anymore...

Whenever I buy cigarettes, my neighbor steals them.
I really hate thieves and a part of me wants to...

My parents bought me an NES thirty years ago in 1988.
At the time, owning that video game console...

Don't be cross with me, life is too short mon ami,
we should behave nicely, conduct ourselves...