Funny

I know that beauty is superficial, what's important in a person is what they have internal.
But she...

When the Duke boys tried to jump over my house, they crashed through the middle.
The damn General...

When a burglar ate some of my expired food, it made him expire.
The next day I learned that an...

I'm going to tell you something and I'll be quite plain.
I have a fifteen year old son who couldn't...

When all was said and done,
Tom Willis kicked the crap out of George Jefferson.
George...

Gordon Ramsay decided to pay a visit to Mel's Diner.
When he criticized Mel's food, Mel gave him a...

Some days it's better to stay in bed
Do you ever feel like this friend of mine
when you greet...

My eleven year old son decided to steal my car.
He drove to the theater and sneaked in to watch a...

I'll tell you the reason why my neighbor's head has a big dent.
I mowed his yard and cleaned his...

I have a neighbor who is obnoxious and rude.
For the last 10 years, we've been having a feud....

Some people go through great lengths to try to get someone's attention...

Some will stand on their...

A smile a tide wide as I'm happy, they say I've ants in my pants but I can't see them
I'm the joker...

I'm Popeye the Sailor, I'm sure not Popeye Doyle.
Things went down hill when I married Olive Oyl....

My new Russian bride can only say one english word and that word is no.
If she doesn't start...

Once a year, I deliver presents to children all over the world.
But sometimes I wonder why I do what...

My wife makes me put up 3000 Christmas lights at our place.
We have the only house that can be seen...

I am a teenager
Yes
A terrible, Ignorant teenager
Yeah
I'm "lazy"
But...